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Deviant for 10 Years
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omzig89
Real Name
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
Corporate Facebook: www.linkedin.com/in/manjunaths…
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Interests
I went to a portrait studio yesterday. It's a rare and unusual event in my life - something I do more for others than for myself. I feel like I seriously overpaid for a few stills that I wanted only for my LinkedIn profile. The whole experience felt like society telling me things indirectly - which happens often enough that I'm the "paranoid" one.

At the mall, I really wish I could blend in with higher-volume consumers who visit frequently and upgrade their things often, but my interests are pretty plain and tame. I want simple things out of life and even when I dabble in something "fancy", it's only to find the simple approach to it. The only weird thing is that I'm so particular about the so-called "simple" things. It hurts to want nice things. From a childhood of depravity to an adolescence of feeling inadequate, I never prepared for this adulthood - especially one filled with punishment for anything that I'd even accidentally desire.

I really had to break out of my shell a little and be more assertive about the... portraiture. It felt awful making demands of the photographer even though I'm the one paying for the session and I'm the one who will be using the product. It felt like what I imagine a really painfully awkward date to feel like - a sexist/racist exercise that I have no interest in. I haven't been on a date in years -even then, that was with my "it's complicated" S.O.

What is... leadership? I can't even demand particulars about decent, common things - especially stuff that I trade for with my time spent at hard work. How in the world am I supposed to feel "gain" and have "influence" on anything? I do recognize that I have no healthy sense of teamwork or trust. And I certainly don't take dating "hints" very well when I'm giving up a day's laboring wages for a photo that I'm already having trouble expressing my requirements for.

If anybody MUST know this about me, I know (through a lot of error and contemplation) how to behave if I were ever on an actual date, what attitude to explore another person's lifestyle with, how much space to give and how much endearment that I'm actually capable of when there's mutual attraction. It's just that even though this is the stage of my life for stuff like dating, my focus belongs on so many responsibilities that I already don't handle.

I felt... harassed. But nobody will believe that a 27-year-old man? guy? paying for his dressed-up portrait feels these things. So I post.

I suppose that the real issue is not that I'm struggling a bit for the money... I just did not enjoy any of my time there. To me, a portrait studio is a situation and environment where you simply put forth your best emotions to be recorded either for when you need a reminder of good times, or to share with others while it's still relevant. But yesterday, I left the studio wanting to forget the experience and not ruin it for myself if I'd go again in the future.

Anyhow, the real content about my portraits that is relevant to dA:

Apparently the copyrights to the photos have been released to me. I thought of submitting one of them as a Deviation. The point is in how I'd categorize it. It would go under something to do with performance art because I'd be taking credit for the moments of life that I lived so irrationally painfully in front of the lens, and not for the craft of light-capture ("photography") practiced by the studio.

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:iconxthumbtakx:
xthumbtakx Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2016
hi! thank you so much for :+fav:ing my art!! :hug: :dalove: hope you'll check out the rest of my gallery! :D

cuddle kittens by xthumbtakx
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:iconcloe-patra:
cloe-patra Featured By Owner May 28, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you for the fave :heart:
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:iconpajunen:
Pajunen Featured By Owner May 19, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the fav!
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:iconomzig89:
omzig89 Featured By Owner May 19, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for your fave too!
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:iconpajunen:
Pajunen Featured By Owner May 19, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
You're welcome.
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:iconshadowlinkster:
ShadowLinkster Featured By Owner May 14, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanx for :+fav:ing New Zone by ShadowLinkster  
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:iconomzig89:
omzig89 Featured By Owner May 14, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for imagining and drawing!
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:iconshadowlinkster:
ShadowLinkster Featured By Owner May 14, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Meow :3 
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:iconveeegeee:
veeegeee Featured By Owner May 13, 2016  Professional Writer
:iconimgettinghappyplz::iconfaven1::iconimgettinghappyplz::iconfaven1::iconimgettinghappyplz::iconfaven1::iconimgettinghappyplz::iconfaven1::iconimgettinghappyplz::iconfaven1:
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:iconkkhal:
Kkhal Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the favs!
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